May 6, 1994

Dear God,

I’ve been avoiding thinking about Nancy and how she’s gone now. I don’t know quite how to miss her. I have this vague ache inside of me. I guess I’ve been trying to like someone else rather than miss Nancy.

God, I loved her so much. Why couldn’t I keep her and love her some more? She liked the love that I gave her. She was happy…she had joy.

I have her ring, God. It’s empty. She’s not here any more.

Dear Nancy,

I still love you. My heart doesn’t care that you can’t come back. It still tries to hug you.

Oh, God,

Why am I so torn? I am torn because I want to go on and be strong, and I want to love Nancy with all of my heart. God, please help me.

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